Okay Nick, you’ve been asking for my desert island post for weeks now and I finally sat down last night to write it up, old school, in Word – since we’re now going on Week Fecking 6 at my house with no Internet. I don’t think I’ve ever met a customer service so incompetent as that of our (for now, unnamed) service provider. Deep breaths.
So I’m on a desert island. (Is it desert island – or deserted island? By dint of the fact there’s water around, it wouldn’t be “desert,” right?) No matter – we probably don’t need to get into semantics.
The point is I’m on an island and there’s not much around in the way of a supermarket, but thankfully, the Power-That-Is (a cross between Buddha and Elvis) has seen fit to grant me a small, but essential request – my favourite five foods (and only my favourite five) in plentiful supply for the rest of my life. I must choose quickly, but carefully. Not to be melodramatic, but this is Fo-eh-vuh.
So here goes:
Tomato-Fennel Soup: I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting my mother’s tomato-fennel soup. If you have, then you already understand why it’s top of list. If you haven’t yet tried it, well…I’ll just say it’s a revelation. I could happily eat it for dinner for the rest of my life, accompanied by:
Pita Bread: So practical, so tasty. What a perfect pocket for stuffing all your favourite “stuff “ into. Assuming that if I leave it out on a rock in the hot, desert island sun, the process will act as a toaster, crisping and breaking it open – ready for all the delicious extras, like:
Goat Cheese: I know what you’re going to say: “ew, goat cheese – it smells like old socks.” Whereas, I think it’s the most perfect cheese ever blended. As fundamental as “you say potato, I say pot-ah-toe.” Let’s just agree to disagree on this one, eh?
Avocado: My favourite thing about you, Avocado, is your versatility. I can fill you with oil, vinegar, salt and pepper and you’re a meal in yourself. I can mush you on top of pita bread with a little salt and pepper and you’re better than butter. I can slice you up with goat cheese and boiled egg (see below) inside a pita pocket and you’re my perfect lunch. For this reason, you must accompany my desert (ed) island existence.
Eggs: The weird thing is, I couldn’t stand the taste, texture or smell of eggs until I was about 15. I actually used to tell everyone I was allergic to egg when I was a kid because this seemed the most sure-fire way to make sure no one ever served them to me, in any pure form. (On a side note, this caused consternation at more than a few birthday parties, when, proclaiming my “allergy” after Slice 4 of birthday cake, the supervising mother in question would stare in horror, awaiting the closure of my throat and other such “allergic” reactions, which obviously never materialized.)
But I digress: Eggs -- I love them now. So versatile, so edible. An omelette for dinner, boiled for breakfast or lunch, scrambled in a pita pocket for…whenever. And poached, for a treat.
Wow, I can’t believe that’s five. There are so many things I’m conflicted about leaving off – the biggest one being tomatoes. I debated having them as a straight-up on the list, rather than as part of a soup. Suffice to say, it was a very hard choice that kept me up nights. I’m still a little teary-eyed at the thought of never having an Insalata Caprese again – I love you basil, tomato, mozzarella. Guess I’ll just have to hope I’m rescued from the island at some point and the full world of food re-opened to me? Insalata Caprese, I’ll make you a deal: if I ever make it off this tropical, magical, godforsaken, tomato-free island, you’ll be my first mainland meal. Agreed? Agreed.
