The Dilemma - How do I make this boneless, skinless chicken breast interesting QUICKLY

Pictured above is the face, or type of face as I admittedly have never cooked for Simon Cowell, that I get pretty much every time I tell my lovely wife, Danielle (pictured above), that we are having grilled chicken (also pictured above, and I think fairly tasty looking) for dinner. As a side note, I don't think I'd want to cook for Simon because 1)I hate his show and everything to do with it 2)He probably wouldn't have anything nice to say about the food anyway, and 3)I don't need that kind of negative aura in my life, but that's really neither here nor there.

Back to task, Danielle usually says something like "AGAIN?" or "Really, chicken?", at which point I get huffy and tell her she's more than welcome to cook for herself, but I don't know if the microwave is currently operable. Just to define this, I don't condone microwave use, but to suggest that she use anything more culinarily challenging would be foolish. I cook, but can't organize anything more complex than the silverware drawer. She is a disaster (literally fires, explosions, unplaceable smells) in the kitchen, but can plan/organize our entire life on our Mac. What can I say, we play to each others strengths, and happily. My God, I'm rambling today. Anyway, this post is to help you avoid such disparaging remarks when you inform your dining companion that you are having grilled chicken. Below are five delicious marinades for chicken. Simply follow the instructions, and let the bird marinate overnight, ie think a little ahead. If you want chicken tomorrow, marinade it tonight and you will have something flavorful. Try to do it for only 3 hours, and you're really just wasting your $$$$. Last tip before the recipes, when ready to cook, let most of marinade drip off of chicken breast, and season with kosher salt, and FRESH ground black pepper. If you throw it right on the grill, slathered in marinade, it'll probably burn or char, and all of your hard work will be for naught. Not to mention, you will probably hear more disparaging remarks about your chicken, which is exactly what we're trying to avoid. So now, with no further ado:

All recipes are for 2 Lb chicken
#1 The Greek
1 cup plain yogurt, i like greek
1 tblsp toasted cumin seeds, cracked (to toast any dried spice, just put it in a dry pan over medium heat until you can smell it)
2 lemons, juiced
4 cloves garlic, smashed
1 tblsp oregano or marjoram, chopped rough
1 jalapeno, chopped - you could sub dried chili flakes here, but I prefer the fresh chile taste
2 tblsp tahini paste - you could just sub toasted sesame seeds, but as above
1 tblsp caper, chopped

#2 The Far East
2 tblsp corn oil
1 tblsp sesame oil
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 stick lemongrass, whacked - lemongrass is hard to chop through, but just give a good whack and bruise it, and it'll release it's oils
1.5 tblsp ginger, grated - use a microplane
1/4 c rice wine vinegar, unseasoned
1 tblsp thai chile paste, srirachi is the best, but I don't know what's available on your pond side
1 tsp SWEET soy
1 tsp miso paste
1 bunch of scallions, sliced thin

#3 The Middle East
2 tblsp olive oil
2 tblsp fresh chili paste - make your own, just grab a blender, or coffee grinder, and mix fresh red chiles and a handful of garlic cloves with enough oil to puree them. Cheaper and better than store bought, just keep it thick
1 tblsp toasted cumin seeds, ground
1 tblsp toasted coriander seeds, ground
1 tblsp toasted mustard seeds, black or yellow, ground
1 tblsp toasted cardamom, green or black, ground
2 lemons, juiced
1 tsp turmeric

#4 The Italiano - possibly the easiest, and also, possibly my fave
3 tblsp olive oil
1 tblsp white wine vinegar
6 garlic cloves, chopped
1 stick fresh rosemary, chopped
2 tblsp fresh thyme, chopped
2 tblsp fresh oregano, chopped
2 tblsp fresh basil, chopped
1 tsp chili flakes
zest of 2 lemons

#5 The South
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tblsp molasses or cane syrup
1 tblsp tomato paste
1 jalapeno, chopped
1 tblsp fresh thyme, chopped
6 oz coca-cola, or your preferred soda
3 oz apple juice or cider
2 tblsp mustard, i use whole grain, but your choice
1 tsp paprika

Give these a try, and see if they lessen the groans next time you say "grilled chicken tonight".

As a disclaimer, please use all-natural chicken. I have been to poultry plants, and seen the horror of hormone and other insanity pumped chicken. Not only is it not good for you, but it's not right to do this to an animal. Also, if you don't have a grill, you could easily pan-sear these, or even broil them in a pinch.

Since I have given you 5 recipes, a wine pairing is a touch difficult, but I would say that for most of these a citrusy New Zealand or South African Sauv Blanc would be a good choice. If that's a little boring, try a gavi or maybe a greek assyrtico. Play around with it, these are pretty versatile flavors.

ENJOY

Good, quick pasta sauce - The whores' spaghetti...Interested?

I don't know exactly why I have decided to post this recipe, at this time of year.....maybe it was the god-awful Italian food I had to eat in Houston a few weeks ago. The lasagna there actually was served still in the shape of whatever box they bought it in, but that is a whole different story. Actually, I do have to mention one other thing about it. Who the F#*K serves "mozzarella ala caprese", the simplest, easiest to make, most delicious salad ever, with half green roma tomatoes, processed SQUARE pre-made slices of a mozzarella like substance, one basil leaf, and no vinegar/oil/flavor. Seriously disappointing. I will leave out the name of the restaurant for Karma's sake, but UGH. Anyway, back to topic.

Spaghetti alla Puttanesca, literally translated to "whore's spaghetti" or harlot if you want to be a little softer, is a great, comforting, easy to make, delicious dinner. It could also come from the italian word puttanata, which means garbage, but really refers to the fact that most of the ingredients can be found in an italian pantry, and thrown together to make a meal on short notice. It is a tangy, slightly spicy, slightly salty, and utterly delicious sauce. I usually make it in colder months, but it works whenever.

Feeds Two
8 large, ripe tomatoes, cut into a large dice
3 cloves garlic, sliced thin
1/2 red onion, diced small
2 tsp chili flake
3 tblsp capers, chopped coarse
(i like salt packed capers, but make sure you give a very quick rinse to get some of the excess salt off. Otherwise, non-pareil will work just (almost) as well)
6 oz fresh basil, torn
6 good sized anchovy filets, chopped into a puree, or pureed if you have the equipment
20 or so Mediteranean olives, traditionally black, but I like to use a mix, pitted & chopped rough
4 tblsp olive oil
1 tblsp fresh oregano, chopped fine
4 oz stock, chicken or vegetable usually
S & P to taste

Garnish:a little chopped ITALIAN parsley, and some grated parm

1)Heat olive oil over medium heat, add onion, garlic, and chili flake. Saute until onions are translucent, or just starting to brown. Add anchovies and saute for 1 more minute, moving constantly.
2)Add tomatoes, capers, 1/2 of stock, and olives. Cook over medium heat until the tomatoes break down and achieve a sauce (almost creamy) consistency. Add more stock as needed if pan starts to dry out before you get this consistency
3)Remove from heat, and add fresh herbs, stir through, season with salt and fresh black pepper to taste, and let sit for 5 minutes or so, so that they can release their flavor

Serve over whatever pasta you like, but I think it works best with spaghetti, bucatini, or linguine.
I like to match it with some goat cheese crostini - mix a little olive oil into fresh chevre, and add a little fresh herb or lemon zest, spread on thick sliced baguette, and broil until cheese starts to brown. It is also great if you want to serve it with some sauteed shrimp, seared scallops, or even as a side for a grilled chicken dinner.

Wine pairing - For a red, I would say a chianti, nero d'avola, or a dolcetto. Just make sure it isn't too tannic of a chianti, or too juicy of a dolcetto. For a white, sauvignon blanc, or maybe a grillo. Both would be nice compliments to the spice, and acidity of the dish.

Enjoy your "streetwalker sauce", and let me know what you think. :)

SALMON TARTARE - Quick, interesting dinner idea

Alright, recipe time. Today's recipe is Salmon tartare crostadas. I, personally, don't love cooked salmon. I think it gets very fishy, and oily when it's cooked. However, I love salmon in either it's raw or cured state. It has a great, fatty/oily texture, and I think it's flavor works much better this way too. So, that being said, this is a REALLY quick, really easy, really flavorful recipe that is fun to make and fun to eat. It gets you away from that protein/starch/veggie formula, and gets you a tasty, relatively healthy dish in about 20 minutes

Feeds two
1/2 lb FRESH salmon, whatever kind is in works, just don't use frozen
2 shallots, diced fine -- sub in 1/2 red onion if you don't have shallot
1 tsp fresh ginger, grated
1 tblsp sesame oil
1 green thai chile, diced small
2 tblsp cilantro, chopped
1 tsp white sesame seeds
1 tsp black sesame seeds
1 tsp thai chile paste, such as srirachi (my favorite)
juice & zest of 1 lime
zest of 1 orange
salt and pepper to taste

1) Dice salmon into small, EVEN pieces about 1/8 inch square
2) Mix salmon with all other ingredients and let marinate for 15 minutes
3) Serve with crispy wontons to spoon tartare onto, and eat with your hands :)

****If you dont have crispy wontons, sub rice cakes, good quality crackers, crostini, or even pita chips.

As a variation, add 1/4 cup of coconut milk and diced avocado for a creamier, richer tartare. This recipe can really be used a base. If you like coriander, add some. If you like basil instead of cilantro, go for it. Tartare can be great with any number of flavorings, so let your creative juices flow.

Wine Pairing...either a:
Sauvignon Blanc from South America - dry, crisp, minerally
Or
Unoaked Chardonnay - if you get an oaky one, it'll be too buttery with the fattiness of the salmon