Friday, August 13, 2010

WTF America ----- this is just f$*%#in ridiculous

Alright, I am not a USA hater in general. There are many amazing things about this country.....our freedoms, our rights, our abilities, our gifts, our openess, but we are also a bunch of lazy fatasses. Please don't take this the wrong way. I don't feel that I am a lazy fatass, most of the time anyway, and I know that there are a huge amount of people here that are the antithesis of one, but there are some truly disturbing things going on in this country right now as well.

1)This new KFC sandwich. Who needs bread, let's just make a cheese and bacon filled sandwich and use fried chicken as the two buns. SERIOUSLY. Who thought this was a good idea? It's no wonder we're the fattest country on the planet (although I read something that the UK was giving us a run for our money, but that is counter to my arguement, so I'll ignore it). This is not only disgusting, it is corporately irresponsible to encourage people to eat in this manner. I mean at least throw a fricking tomato, or some shaved onions on it and let people get some nutritional value out of it. Gross.

2)As if that wasn't bad enough, I was in a burger king this week (for the record, I was just with someone who was eating there, and I just had a diet coke) and there's this sign on the wall. It's title is "Your word is BACON", and went on to describe the characteristics of a bacon lover. It read about like this ---- "You're a man, one meat isn't good enough for your sandwich, better make it two, in fact if they could make the bun out of meat, you'd probably be good to go". Now far be it from me to criticize bacon, I love the stuff. It made my list of the 5 foods I would eat for the rest of eternity (see earlier august post). It's the rest of the content that's disturbing. Not only is this once again kind of disgusting, but obviously someone at BK thought that the KFC sandwich was such a good idea that they'd better capitalize on it now. So they're not only killing the american public via heart disease, but, even worse, they are unoriginal about it.

3)Finally, although I could go on with more, I'll cite this amazingly horrible obsession america has with eating contests. If I have to see one more guy soaking hot dogs and their buns in water, and then choking them down at a rate of 70 in like ten minutes, I'll puke (let alone the fact that he can do it without puking is also kind of disturbing). Not only that, but he's depicted as an american hero for beating a japanese guy. Really???? Even worse, (actually I'm not sure that it's worse, but it's at least equally bad), there are women who do these contests as well. Call me sexist, but it's even more grotesque watching a 125 lb woman do this. I saw one where a guy ate 16 lbs of funnel cakes in one sitting. 16 pounds????? WHY? For another point, look at the guy who hosts MAN VS. FOOD on the travel channel. He travels the country seeing if he can beat the countries hardest food challenges. First of all, food is a joy, not a challenge, but I digress. Go back to the first season....he weighed about 190. Look at him now. He's like two more seasons removed from looking like Jabba the freakin Hut (sorry if this is mispelled Star Wars fans). He is undoubtedly cutting years off his life by doing this show. And as a side note, any meal where the term "The Meat Sweats" even comes in to play is probably one that is best skipped. You should sweat from exercise, or maybe eating chile peppers, but not because your body is shutting down due to the fact that you just ate 11 pounds of bratwurst, 3 lbs of potato salad, and god knows what else.

I could go on, but I wont. I love eating. I eat fried foods. I could probably stand to lose a pound or twelve. I am human. But these are just getting a little ridiculous. You should enjoy your food. You should love the taste of a radish just as much as a country fried steak (well, almost). Appreciate your food, don't just gorge yourself. There is joy in eating, but it doesn't come from a drive-thru or from eating more chicken wings in one sitting than anyone else in history (the exception to this may be downing a few dozen oysters with a couple of beers at the beach, but there are other benefits to that, placebo or not :).

I'll leave you with a quote from Virginia Woolf
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well"

Do you think that the guy who just downed a burger that weighs 12 lbs in one sitting is "loving" anyone anytime soon? I don't, probably himself least of all.

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