My favorite dessert....and it's easy

First off, to the pack leader, my apologies for taking so long to post this one. I know you asked for it about a month ago, but my life has been a touch hectic as of late. I will not bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that my weekends have been so unrelaxing recently, that I have actually been looking forward to the work week!!!!!!!!!!! That should give you some idea of the scope of my personal hell.



Enough bitching, on to the recipe-ing...not a word I know, but I'm going with it.



My all time favorite dessert is this simple little recipe known by the frenchies as creme anglaise, or if you're a good englishman/american, custard. Really, it is ice cream that hasn't been frozen, so if you have an ice cream maker, this will be a very versatile recipe for you. My favorite way to eat it is over stewed rhubarb (like a good brit), but you can put it over bread pudding, clafoutis, muffins, berries, really anything you want to make less healthy. It is after all a mix of dairy, sugar, and egg, but as the great (in some senses of the word) Julia Child said "everything in moderation, even moderation".



AND SO........................



CREME ANGLAISE


1 1/2 c whole milk

1/2 c half & half
1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise
1/2 cup sugar
4 large egg yolks, at room temperature



1)Put your milk in a saucepan over low heat. Scrape the vanilla bean into it.

2)Whisk together your sugar and eggs

3)Bring milk up to just a light simmer (gently gently bubbling for the culinarily challenged out there)

4)Temper your milk mixture into your egg mixture. This is done by simply SLOWLY drizzling some of the warm milk mixture into the cold egg mixture while whisking vigorously. This prevents the egg from cooking and becoming scrambled eggs surrounded by sugary milk. NOT as appetizing trust me.

5)Return the now milk & egg mixture to your saucepan over medium low heat and stir constantly (CONSTANT VIGILANCE as Mad Eye would say) until the sauce is this enough to coat the back of a spoon without running (this is called nappe in classic cookery, I think I've explained this before, and at some point I will stop explaing this step and just say until nappe, and hope that you've read some earlier blogs)

6)Pass through a fine strainer just to be sure you haven't had any little bits of cooked egg occur and serve immediately, or cool and refrigerate for later.

Like I said, you can pour this on top of just about any dessert and it's good. To flavor it up a bit, try adding almond extract (a touch), grand marnier (a few touches, and save some for the chef), or get a little bit more creative and use passion fruit juice, mango puree, fresh pureed berries, whatever tickles your fancy really. Odds are it'll come out fairly tasty, and will probably taste good on whatever dessert your preparing. Just don't complain to me when your ouzo flavored creme anglaise did not go well with your artichoke and sardine pie.....stay within reason folks.

Happy custarding!!!

Noush's newest request

Another one of the world's most underappreciated foods..........beets. My sister asked me to teach her how to cook these earthly little balls of deliciousness, and I am now happily obliging. I cook mine slightly differently than some, and this is by no means the only way....just the best way. I have had lots of practice doing this as it is my darling wife's favorite lunch, and I think i put them on every single menu I ever wrote in some form or another. This method will work whether you are using candy stripes, golden, or classic red beets, just vary the cooking time if you are using one of the smaller varieties. And now...........

Basic Roasted Beets

3 lbs beets, roots trimmed

2 tblsp clover honey

1 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp coriander seeds

1 tsp cardamom seeds

2 tblps sugar

1/4 c sherry or white balsamic vinegar

1/2 c water

1)Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Place beets and all other ingredients in deep baking dish. Cover with aluminum foil.

2)Roast for 90-120 minutes, or until beets are just tender enough to piece with a toothpick. Times will vary depending on size of beet, so ideally, cook beets that are basically the same size.

3)Put on some rubber gloves. These are good for two reasons:1)They prevent you from staining your hands neon red from the beet juice (this can lead to awkward questions if you get pulled over recently after cooking, trust me) 2)It helps insulate your hands so that you can peel the beets. Their skin comes off easier the warmer they are.

4)Rub the skin with your hands. It should basically just slough off.

5)Enjoy your beets.

**There are many ways to enjoy beets, here are a few:

1)Cut them into wedges. Toss them with some bitter salad greens and torn basil leaf. Dress all of this with balsamic, olive oil, and a hint of truffle oil. Season with salt and pepper. Serve with goat cheese crostini (see earlier blog). This is probably the most classic way.

2)Slice them into thin circles. Lay them overlapping around a plate. Squeeze of lemon, drizzle of olive oil, sprinkle of sea salt, touch of pepper et voila.........BEET CARPACCIO

3)Dice your beets and use them in either a mixed vegetable saute, or with potatoes to make "flannel hash". For the latter, parboil some cubed potatoes, then brown them in butter. Toss in your diced beets and warm through. Season with salt and pepper. This makes a great side dish for a steak for anyone interested.

Anyway, that's what I got for beets....hope y'all enjoy.

First rule in roadside beet sales, put the most attractive bets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go “wow, I need this beet right now”. Those are the money beets.

-DWIGHT SCHRUTE-best character on the office

The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent, not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious.

"Tom Robbins

Celtic Women

Just a little heads up to everyone:

Went to see Celtic Women last night at the fox theatre featuring world-renowned bagpiper Anthony Byrne. First of all, entire show was fantastic. The singing was great....good mix of irish classics, contemporary, fast, and slow.

The real star of the show was "Amazing Grace" played on the pipes by Mr. Byrne while walking up the aisles to the stage. Amazing. Definitely the highlight of the show....well either that, or the Gaelic love song about seaweed.

Anyway, if you get a chance to go, DO IT

Just a quick little note for all those desiring some good karma....

Check out the site www.freekibble.com

They have a daily trivia question, but if you go on and answer it (right or not), they donate food to shelter cats and dogs. There is advertising all over the page, which I guess is how they pay for the food, but you don't have to sign up for anything, or even look at it.

Not a bad way to start your day by helping some needy furry friends.....I could use all the good Karma I can get!!!!

Since everyone seems to be coming down with the plague

Ok, so not only has my entire office taken it upon themselves to test the limits of my immune system by showing up to work in various states of sickness, ranging from the "I'm going to annoyingly sneeze every four minutes stage" to the "is there a priest in the building" stage, but I spoke to my sister last night. She usually has a beautiful voice, soft, melodic, with a hint of the irish brogue. However, last night, she sounded like a bullfrog with a hangover, so I am going to help all of you out. First off, DONT go to work like this.....it just makes everyone sick.

Second, make this brew. It will relieve swelling, congestion, sore throat, and general achy feelings.

1/2 lemon
3 tblsp honey
1 tsp SEA salt
1 english or irish breakfast teabag
1 bay leaf
1 tsp fresh grated ginger
1 tsp fresh chopped chiles, like jalapeno, or if fresh is unavailable, 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

1)Place all ingredients in LARGE tea/coffee mug.
2)Cover with 10-12 oz boiling water.
3)Steep for 8-10 minutes
4)Drink while hot.

DISCLAIMER********* I am not claiming this is the most delicious thing you will ever drink. The honey does help sort of mask some of the more potent other flavors however, and it WILL make you feel better, I promise.

So, make this "tea", call in sick, rent the entire 2 season of Twin Peaks (plus Twin Peaks "Fire walk with me" if you like), and call me in the morning.

MOTHER SAUCES - Part un

Ok, there are some very basic recipes in cooking that one must learn. Key among these are the "5 mother sauces", as defined by larousse (french bible modern cookery....modern being loosely defined). From these 5 sauces, 10 million sauces can be made or "derived", hence all the other sauces being called "derivative sauces". Learning these basic five recipes/techniques, and then letting your imagination run with how to flavor them will mean that you can create a great sauce for any dish. While there is some debate over the 5th sauce (some include vinaigrette, instead of tomato), I will stick with the more traditional 5 (and besides, I've already given you the best vinaigrette recipe ever, see blog named such) and they are as follows:

1)BECHAMEL - a white, milk and roux based sauce....think alfredo, or the best mac n' cheese you've ever made
2)VELOUTE - a light stock based sauce that is thickened with roux, and becomes "sauce supreme when either heavy cream, or less commonly, craime fraiche is added
3)ESPAGNOLE - a rich sauce made with dark stock, usually beef or chicken, combined with a dark roux, herbs, and for some (though not me) tomato paste. I only add the tomato paste when making a derivative sauce if needed, otherwise, I like to keep it a little cleaner tasting
4)HOLLANDAISE - probably the most famous of the 5. A warm emulsion of egg yolks, fat, acid, and flavorings, known most famously for eggs benedict, or its' most famous derivative, bearnaise....mmmmmmmmmmmm.
5)TOMAT - think of a frenchified version of italian tomato sauce with a roux added. Nowadays, in culinary school, they teach one to use canned tomatoes, no roux, and tomato paste, but to me that isn't the sauce that escoffier made, it's more akin to a bastardized marinara, so for these purposes, I actually prefer the old-school one.

Today we'll start with one of the easiest and also one of my favorites

SAUCE TOMAT:

3 oz salt pork, this is an unsmoked pork product, which is best, but you could sub bacon if you must
1/8 c carrots, peeled and diced small
1/4 c onion, diced small
2 oz ap flour
2 oz whole butter, unsalted
5 lbs fresh tomatoes, quartered
1 qt white chicken or veal stock (sub veggie if you must)
1 clove garlic
1 1/2 tsp sugar
Salt and Pepper to taste

1)Place salt pork in stock pot. Add 1/8 cup water, cover, put on medium heat and cook for 5-7 minutes. This will allow the fat to render without burning
2)Add butter, carrots and onions and saute for 5 minutes
3)Sprinkle on the flour, and cook, stirring constantly for 3 minutes (basically making a blond roux with the fat, butter, and veggies
4)Add tomatoes and garlic, and saute until tomatoes start to release their liquid
5)Add stock, bring to a simmer, reduce heat to low and cook for 1 hour, stirring semi-frequently (every ten minutes or so)
6)Use a stick blender to puree your sauce, then pass through a chinois or fine strainer. If you want a VERY smooth sauce, sub a stand up blender for the stick one
7)Season to taste with sugar, salt, and pepper


Derivative Sauces
Nantua - Saute some onions and celery till soft, add some crawfish, and diced tomatoes, then deglaze with 3 oz cognac. Whisk this into your finished sauce tomat. Great for Grilled Fish such as swordfish or marlin

Portuguese - Saute onions till lightly caramelized, add chopped tomatoes, and sliced garlic, then add some reduced beef stock (demi glace). Whisk this into your finished sauce tomat and finish with chopped parsley. Also, great on grilled fish, but works very nicely on grilled pork as well.

Provencal - Saute onions and mushrooms (usually just buttons) in butter till soft, add white wine and garlic. Whisk this into your finished sauce tomat and finish with chopped parsley. Great on fish, chicken, pasta, or veggies.

Like I said, there are literally thousands of derivatives for each sauce. Play around with it, odds are it'll come out well....actually, that might be optimistic, but this sauce is a great base for adding flavors. You can even add reduced heavy cream, and it becomes a great sauce for seafood pastas.

"In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport."

"The best way to execute French cooking is to get good and loaded and whack the hell out of a chicken. Bon appétit."

Both of these somewhat contradictory quotes about French cooking are attributable to Julia Child, an unfailing champion of classical french cookery.


Coming next.......Bechamel. We'll do Hollandaise a little later, after we've had some success with the mother sauces, as the first time making that finicky sauce might be enough to discourage the faint of heart.

Good luck my future sauciers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The GOD of all hot sauces

Firstly, sorry my photography sucks, but it was taken with my phone while cooking, so a little blurriness is to be expected. Secondly, it's not even really doing this justice to call it a mere hot sauce, but srirachi thai chile sauce is an absolutely indispensable resource for any cook from the haughtiest fine dining spot to a simple home cook wanting to broaden his/her horizons. It's known by a few nicknames, such as the red rooster, or the kickin chicken because of the rooster on its' label (if you live in georgia, beware, kickin chicken also refers to wild turkey 101, which is not so food friendly). It's texture is more of a paste than the traditional hot sauce, but don't be scared away. It's hot, but not overly so, with a pleasant acidity and some good garlic flavor to it as well. It is so versatile....you really just need to have a bottle of it in the fridge for any occasion. I will lay out a few good ways to use it, but really just start subbing it in for hot sauce in your normal recipes and then just play around with it.

Srirachi Mignonette - for all the oyster lovers out there

1/8 c champagne vinegar
1 tsp srirachi
1 shallot, diced FINE (sub a 1/4 of a red onion if you don't have a shallot)
1 tsp honey
1 tsp fresh ground peppercorns
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp fresh thyme

1)Mix all ingredients together and let sit for 1 hour. Serve over chilled oysters and slurp away


Srirachi Aioli - delicious on anything

2 egg yolks
1 pinch salt
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup plus 2 tblsp olive oil
3 tblsp srirachi

1)add salt, egg yolks, garlic, and srirachi to blender. Puree till eggs are lightly frothy
2)SLOWLY, drizzle oil in to blender (while still running, sorry if that's obvious) until the mixture forms into a thick mayonnaise. ***Note:you may or may not need the 2 tblsp of oil, you will have to judge the thickness of your mayo

Use this as a dip for any fried seafood. Drizzle it over pork chops, smear it on crostini, make a sandwich with it. Like I said, good on just about anything

Srirachi Honey - the easiest recipe I will ever post

2 parts honey
1 part srirachi

1)Whisk together......like I said easy.

This sauce is amazing for the grillers out there. Brush it on shrimp, pork chops, chicken, steaks, scallops, veggies, or anything else you can cook on your grill. Just do it towards the end of the cooking process so that the sugars don't burn too much. It's also great as a dipping sauce for crab fritters, stuffed artichokes, or used as a sauce for a piece of swordfish perhaps.

Thai Chile BBQ Sauce - works great as a marinade or a completed sauce

1 tsp fresh ginger, grated
1 stalk lemongrass, pounded (just hit the stalk with the flat of a knife to release it's oil/juices)
1 cup brown sugar
3 tblsp molasses or cane syrup
1/3 cup srirachi
1 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup apple juice
6 oz coca-cola (NOT PEPSI :)
1 cup tomato paste
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tblsp worcestershire sauce

1)Combine all ingredients in a pot over medium-low heat and cook 60-90 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove lemongrass and use as mentioned above.

SIGNS THE RESTAURANT YOU’RE IN
SERVES REALLY SPICY FOOD

They have two seating
sections: “Foolhardy” and
“Flat-Out Crazy”

The waiter comes around
with a pepper mill —
as a joke

The hallway leading to
the bathrooms is a
designated fire lane

The food is free,
but water is $10 a glass

Stuff my Basset will and wont eat

So, this is Tater. Actually, she is named Sweet Potato fully because she is the color of one and is oddly lumpy in places just like her namesake. She is a very sweet, thoroughly food obsessed animal who constantly surprises me with her culinary dos and don'ts. This post was inspired by this morning, when I dropped an ARTICHOKE on the ground and almost lost a finger trying to retrieve it (not really, she is very gentle, but she did scarf that freaking artichoke). So without further ado...the list

DOs

Beets - shaved, pickled, or just roasted and diced, she loves them
Artichokes - as mentioned above
Grapes - this one has a caveat, only when they are halved will she touch them, otherwise she just noses them around for a bit, then leaves them to surprise you at midnight when you're going to the kitchen for a glass of milk
Seafood - whenever I cook any seafood, especially tuna, she lurks about 3mm from my left ankle and just drools huge long strands of drool that almost touch the floor till she gets a taste. It's odd b/c she doesn't do this if I'm cooking a steak for instance.
Tomatoes - see the rules for grape eating
Fruit Pastilles - this is an english gummy candy (think a non-sour sour patch kid) and she is obsessed. I came home one day to find that my large (brand new, over 1 lb box) new shipment of these from across the pond was no more. Just paper bits, a couple of the yellow ones not eaten on the floor, and a bloated, slightly uncomfortable looking, but nevertheless happy basset remained. This was the first of many lost packets of pastilles and now we are forced to top shelf them.
Bananas - Loves them. Most dogs just sniff around at them, she inhales them.


All that being said, she does have her moments of finnicky eating. For example,

Loves bread, won't touch a tortilla
No Berries.....period
Blue Cheese, I know it smells, but it's still cheese
Whole wheat crackers from Costco with Flax seed...don't know what it is, but she backs away from them like they are spitting cobras

I'd love to hear about whatever weird things your dog eats or doesn't....or just any funny dog habits.

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. ~Samuel Butler

From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog. ~Mabel Louise Robinson

A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. ~John Holmes

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. ~Steve Bluestone

"FOOD" FOR THOUGHT - cheesy I know, but c'est la, c'est la

So I know I usually end a lot of my posts with quotes that are relevent (or at least semi-relevent in my addled mind) to said subject material. That however is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO limiting. I can only do quotes about mushrooms, entertaining, gnochhi, or specific things. So, I am broadening the horizon for this one. The following is a list of quotes, mostly about food, some not, but all that I find inspiring, thought provoking, or funny.

Please add some that you love, or tell me what you think of mine.....even if you want to tell me that you think mine suck, are wierd, or disgusting.

A GOOD START

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity. ~Voltaire

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. ~Garrison Keillor

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? ~Author Unknown

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! ~Tommy Smothers

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. ~Luciano Pavarotti

If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate. ~Diogenes


COURSE 2

You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. ~Earl Wilson

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. ~John Gunther
******I have tried using this as a defense to my weekend laziness, but, unfortunately guys, it apparently is trumped by the "honeydew" list (read HONEY DO)

A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. ~George Rosenbaum

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. ~Lewis Grizzard

I don't think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing. Until then we're stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians. ~Pat McNelis
***for the record, other than caesar, all these dressings suck, it's just a funny quote

Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy. ~Author Unknown
***If only life were that simple.....it might be for my basset hound, but not I

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons. ~Alfred E. Newman
***Sad, but True


THE ENTREE

If God had intended us to follow recipes,He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.~Linda Henley
***my father is happy that this isn't actually true in our family.....creamed onions..AGHHHH!!!!

Rice is born in water and must die in wine. ~Italian Proverb

Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our anti-materialistic, otherworldly, New Age spiritual types. But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should be as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu and seaweed slime. ~Edward Abbey

Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera - ANON
***now that's just funny

What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child? ~Lin Yutang

Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on. ~George Bernard Shaw

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. ~James Beard
***Crass, but true.....kind of true to Beard although he is somehow sanctified by all

We load up on oat bran in the morning so we'll live forever. Then we spend the rest of the day living like there's no tomorrow. ~Lee Iacocca
***Not a bad philosophy actually

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food? ~Bill Bryson
***For the record, this guy is just f'in hilarious. Everything he writes, but I chose this quote as a highlight.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. ~Mark Twain

Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can't taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie. ~Astrid Alauda
***This might be my second favorite food quote ever

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well - Virginia Wolfe
***This is my absolute favorite one

THE SWEET FINISH

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. ~Ernestine Ulmer

Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. ~Sandra Boynton

Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos. ~Don Kardong

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not! ~Author Unknown

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love chocolate, and communists. ~Leslie Moak Murray
***No offense Kenny...Oh wait, you're a MAN U fan, not a communist, I get the two confused :)

I prefer to regard a dessert as I would imagine the perfect woman: subtle, a little bittersweet, not blowsy and extrovert. Delicately made up, not highly rouged. Holding back, not exposing everything and, of course, with a flavor that lasts. ~Graham Kerr

Cookies are made of butter and love. ~Norwegian Proverb

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. ~Erma Bombeck
***Dark, but that's just funny

Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman sure can. ~Author Unknown

THE BIG FINISH

"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."Doug Larson

So, that's it. Hope you enjoyed some, were intrigued by others, and will post some of your own.

A really quick, easy, but amazing way to cook you some shrooms

Ok, I adore mushrooms. Short of my friend John Lange, I think I love them more than anyone else I know. So earthy, so versatile, to use some obnoxious chef terminology so full of umami (it's the japanese word for the extra taste sensation of savory). There are countless ways to cook/use them, but I thought I'd just throw out a really tasty, really easy way to do so, especially if you are doing some entertaining. It has great flavor, and makes for a really nice presentation...............what we are talking about is "en papilotte". Sounds fancy? Really it just means baked in parchment paper.

First, prep the parchment.

Basically, you just need to cut a big heart out of the parchment paper. After loading in all of your mushrooms and other items on one side, fold the other side over the top & starting at the bottome or tip of the overall heart, tightly roll the bottom lip over the top lip, until you have a nicely sealed oval shaped packet full of shrooms. This is just then popped into the oven for about 25 minutes at 400 degrees, then when you are ready to serve, pop it onto whatever plate you want to present on, tear a hole in the top, and voila, perfectly roasted mushrooms all with a little sauce in the bottom of the paper for all to enjoy, an people will think you a properly trained french chef, schooled in the techniques used by the masters, such a Larouse, or Pepin.

Anyway, enough of that, I guess I should include a recipe in this ramble.

1 lb of assorted, or not assorted mushrooms

**Just buy what looks best freshest at the market, but mushrooms with a little more body work best, such as the above pictured chantrelle or porcini, but crimini, hedgehog, even buttons all work

1 tblsp fresh chopped thyme

1 tblsp fresh chopped rosemary

1 tsp fresh chopped oregano

3 tlbsp olive oil

1 1/2 tlbsp butter, cold, cut into 5-6 pieces

1 tsp salt

1 tsp fresh black pepper

1 clove garlic, sliced thin
Optional - 1 tsp chili flake

Cut mushrooms into similarly sized pieces, especially if using multiple types. If just using crimini, not really necessary, but if you have large porcini, you will want to break them down a bit. Just make sure to leave them in pretty good sized pieces to be able to have a good, meaty texture at the end. Toss all ingredients together, except for the butter, and let marinate for ten minutes. Then, pile into parchment, as described above, top with the slices of butter, then seal the parchment, as described above, and roast and serve, once again, as described above. Dead easy, can be prepped ahead of time, and is absolutely wonderful.

As always, some ponderables..

"Every mushroom is edible.........once"

--ANON--

"One can only imagine the amount of mushrooms a sane person would have to eat to be convinced that a frisbee is a fearsome threat"

--Gary Lewis--

"Love is like a mushroom....you never know if it's the real thing until your already commited"

--ANON--

Gnocchi...a little bit of work, a whole lot of delicious

This is I guess another edition of the "dinners on a budget variety", but don't be put off by that. I make these all the time, and they are extremely popular chez moi and with fam and friends. Technically, I would say that this is actually a potato dumpling recipe as I don't use the traditional gnocchi roller to give it the classic gnocchi shape, but if you feel so inclined, feel free.

Just a quick note before we get into the recipe: It is easiest to get the dough all ready to go, stuff it into a disposable pastry bag, and then cut the dough with scissors as you squeeze it out directly into the boiling (salted) water (just remember to give each one a little squeeze as you cut it to give it the indentation to hold the sauce), but if you don't have a disposable pastry bag (and are too cheap to invest the $3.25 for ten of them), then it works just as well to put portions of the dough on a floured board, hand roll them into long "snakes" of dough and then cut by hand (really, by knife). That is how I will lay it out in the recipe below, but I prefer the pastry bag method. There are countless ways to serve/sauce the gnocchi once they are cooked, and we'll get into the variations and my favorites post-recipe, just don't think gnocchi covered in red sauce is the limit of these pillows of deliciousness.

Basic Gnocchi Recipe

3 large baking (Idaho) potatoes (about 1 3/4 pounds), scrubbed
1 large egg
1 teaspoon salt
1 tblsp fresh chopped thyme
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
1/4 freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, or as needed

1)Bake potatoes at 400 degrees until tender. Then, using a kitchen towel to not hurt your hands, peel the potatoes completely.
2)Use a ricer to finely mill potatoes. If you don't have a ricer, mash them with a fork until no lumps remain.
3)Allow potatoes to cool, then form a well with them on your cutting board. Whisk together egg, salt, thyme, pepper and nutmeg. Place egg mixture in center of the well, and work into the potatoes with your hands.
4)Gradually, start adding flour & cheese into the mixture, kneading with your hands. Don't overwork the dough, or the gnocchi will get tougher. About 4 minutes should be plenty. Your hands may get a little messy, but that's part of the fun. Just scrape whatever dough is on your hands back into the dough. Note: you may not need all of the flour, just keep working it in until you have a dough that is no longer sticky to the touch.
5)Flour your work surface, and place dough on board. Flour the top of the dough, and divide into 5-6 portions. Take each portion and gently roll it into a roughly 1/2 inch thick rope (you may need to add flour as you roll to keep the dough from sticking, then cut into gnocchi. Take your thumb and make an indentation in one side of each gnocchi (this helps it hold the sauce) and place on a floured sheet.
6)To cook the gnocchi, drop into boiling salted water, and cook them for about one minute AFTER they rise to the surface. Gently stir as you do this. Remove with a slotted spoon and drop into ice water as you remove them. After they are cooled, drizzle with olive oil and you can keep them refridgerated until ready to cook.

To serve the gnocchi:

1)Remove from fridge and sit them out for 1/2 hour.
2)Brown some butter in a saute pan (just over medium heat until butter starts to brown and smell sort of like baking bread), and toss gnocchi in a even layer. Brown on both sides and then do one of the following

a)serve as is with the brown butter and some shaved parmesan
b)toss with your favorite (homemade of course) marinara or pesto sauce
c)Reduce 1/2 cup of heavy cream and 3 tblsp white wine by half, add 1/4 cup of gorgonzola, fontina, or gruyere cheese. Stir until cheese is incorporated, then toss in gnocchi
d)Cook some bacon lardons until crispy, add some finely chopped scallion and sage, then toss in gnocchi..................mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

As always, play around with how to sauce the dish. These little pillows of delight are quite versatile. Serve on a bed of spinach, or toss with some pulled roasted chicken and a little jus if you want more of an entree.

PS - for a great variation, add 1/4 cup of good quality ricotta to the gnocchi dough, you will need more flour to make it come together, but it is a great addition.

Noush, I expect reports of how your gnocchi came out by the end of the weekend :)


"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again"
---George Miller---

Enjoy, and let me know how the gnocchi come out

THE WORLDS BEST VINAIGRETTE!!!!

Firstly, apologies to all 10 of my followers, but I've been having internet issues chez moi, so that's why I haven't been posting lately. I'll make up for lost time, I promise. Secondly, ballsy title, I know, but it's true. I know I'm biased, and have a taste for this dressing because I've been eating it since I was 2, but it really is my favorite. Versatile, garlicky, salty, deliciousness.

The odd picture above is my mother, holding a jar of said vinaigrette, talking on the phone (quelle fucking surprise). It is there because it is actually her recipe, and I don't want to take credit for a recipe that isn't mine. I'll steal the recipe and publish it onto the interweb happily, but I won't take credit for it. Also, she will love the fact that that picture is online for all to see, so....added bonus. Anyhoo, on to the recipe.



2 cloves garlic, pressed
1 tblsp maggi seasoning sauce (this stuff is great, available at most grocery stores, and is very versatile. Think soy sauce made by Germans...great in stews, soups, marinades, etc)
2 tblsp dijon mustard
1/4 c white balsamic vinegar
1/2 c olive oil
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh black pepper

Mix all ingredients other than oil together till emulsified, then slowly whisk in oil.

This is perfect for a nice mixed green salad, but also makes a great topping for slices of avocado, a great marinade for some grilled chicken, or is a great finisher for a lighter grilled steak dish.

As always, I'll leave you with a couple of quotes, these ones about mothers:

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children, obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. ~Oscar Wilde

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. ~Aristotle

MY CHALLENGE TO THE MAN U FAN

My cousin Kenny is a huge Manchester United fan. Some may be tempted to call him a front-runner, but I must defend him. He was cheering for the reds long before they started buying championships etc, etc. By the way Kenny, nice game from Berbatov. 5 goals a game will probably keep Chicharito on the bench a while longer.

I am a dedicated Chelsea fan, and while we haven't been on form lately, we have some key players starting to come back into the fold and I think we should be coming in to form by say....December 18th or so. It just so happens that we play Man U. that day, so here is my proposal.

If Manchester wins, I will record myself singing Glory, Glory Man United and post it to this blog, however if Chelsea wins, Kenny, you must wear a Chelsea Jersey to work during the next Manchester game televised and send me pictures of it to post.

What do you say? DO WE HAVE A BET?

Sweet Potato Tartlets - better late than never right? Right?

Ok, here finally is my response to my sisters cry for help...in written form anyway. I did call her and get her this recipe in time for her holiday meal for the record. I don't usually leave her hanging as this site was basically created to inspire her culinary adventures. This recipe also gets a high recommendation from Kenny "Mr Man U" Leahy. He ate a couple of these over the Thanksgiving holiday and either lies well, or did greatly enjoy them. I think this is a dead easy recipe that is a little fresher tasting than your average pumpkin pie, and a little easier too. Also, Miguel (my brother in-law), just for the record, scooping out the filling that my sister made into the pre-made pie crust that TESCO made, doesn't quite qualify you to make the statement "well, I made the desserts", but I digress.....at least you were in the kitchen. :)

First up, the pastry crust. A quick note, the real key to this is using COLD butter and shortening, and ICE COLD water. Also, this is a basic recipe. You can get a LITTLE creative and add flavors if you like, but don't upset the overall ratios too much. Pastry cooking is a fickle bitch. I am usually a much better savory chef because it's less science and more feel and intuition. Taste it, adjust it, add this, add that. You can't do that in most pastry/dessert, and if you do make a mistake, you usually don't know until it's time to chuck everything in the trash and whip up some berries and whipped cream as a substitute dessert. So, ranting aside, get the basic recipe down first, so you understand the process, then try some variations on the theme.

RECIPE
1.5 cups + 2 tblsp AP Flour
1 tblsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 stick unsalted butter, cut into 1/4 inch cubes and chilled
2 tblsp shortening (also cold)
5 tblsp (or so, maybe 4, maybe 6) ice water - you love this sort of vagueness in recipes, I know

1)Sift together flour, sugar, and salt
2)Add butter and shortening. Rub them between your fingers until the mixture takes on a coarse crumb texture.
3)Add ice water 1 tblsp at a time, just until the dough comes together.
4)Shape and smooth the dough, then wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 30 minutes

Filling
1/2 stick butter
1 c brown sugar
2 eggs
1/4 cup Heavy Cream
1 vanilla bean (you could sub 1/4 tsp of real vanilla extract....I suppose)
3 tblps AP flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp fresh-grated nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground ginger
2 lg sweet potatoes, peeled, cubed, and boiled until soft

1)Using a egg beater, beat together the butter and sugar until smooth and creamy
2)Add eggs and beat for 30 seconds
3)Add heavy cream and vanilla, continue mixing
4)Add sweet potatoes, flour, salt, and spices gradually and continue to beat until smooth.
5)Preheat oven to 320. Get out your dough and roll on floured board until nice and thin. Using a small-medium cookie cutter, punch out dough and place in a small-medium muffin pan. The size you punch out the dough should be determined by the size of your muffin pan. The dough should just come up the edges but not overlap.
6)Scoop out the filling and fill the dough 3/4 full. Bake until filling is just set and pastry is turning a nice golden brown on the edges.

Hope you all enjoy this recipe, even if you have to stash it until next Thanksgiving.

Sisterspeak: But what if I don't have tinned pumpkin?

Okay, here's a good one for you. A few years ago, Miguel and I went to a Thanksgiving dinner (in Ireland) hosted and prepared by my American friend, Rachael. To this day, he still talks rapturously of her pumpkin pie. Which, I concur, was very, very good.

So this past Wednesday night, when I forced him to sit down and plan our Thanksgiving menu -- we're celebrating with friends this Sunday -- he refused all dessert options that weren't pumpkin pie. I threw lots of options at him too -- chocolate mousse, jam tarts, chocolate bread pudding. He was having none of it.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm afraid of making pumpkin pie. But tinned pumpkin is hard to find in Ireland and, well, mama's feelin' a little lazy, come the weekend. I don't mind carving the suckers up at Halloween, but spending my Friday night making pumpkin goo filling just isn't my idea of a good time. (Instead I'll be spending it addressing and stamping my wedding save-the-dates, which wouldn't be high on my list of "good times" either, but I digress...some things in life are necessary evils.)

And now, Nick, for my ask: is there something I can use instead of real pumpkin that isn't tinned pumpkin, but that will taste Just Like Pumpkin for my pie? I'm sure with your deep knowledge of gourds, you can pull this one out of left field for me.

I eagerly (and hopefully) await your reply. And Happy Black Friday. (You're totally out shopping right now, aren't you?)

Entertaining made a little easier

Ok, as a disclaimer, I actually enjoy going way over the top and cooking 5 course seated dinners with all the stops pulled out. However, I DO NOT enjoy the cleanup involved after such affairs, and more to the point, neither does my beloved. Usually, I plan so much kitchen work that she is invariably left struggling to do everything else to get the party ready. This is really pretty unfair because I enjoy my part of the work, whereas I don't think Danielle actually gets a very big kick out of scrubbing our bathroom "clean for the guests", or trying to remove the fine coating of dog hair that seems to coat pretty much everything in the condo (kitchen not included, don't worry dinner guests). So, that being said I have agreed to tone down my culinary exploits to a heavy hors d'ouevres and lots of wine. I think it'll be a nice change....a little more low key, lots of different flavors in little bites, LESS MESS. So I'm going to give you 3 dead easy, delicious hors d'oeuvres that will take the guesswork, and just a lot of the work out of throwing a holiday/whenever party. No more chafing dishes full of tepid swedish meatballs for us, but if you're like me, your wife may still make you dust the inside of your towel cupboard or some such other non-sensical pre-party cleaning activity......easier not to debate the value of said task by the way, you will lose in the end, and will just be dusting later.

Puff Pastry Squares with Green Olive Tapenade and Shaved Parmesan

Simple, but delicious, and a good option for all those annoying vegetarians who show up (to all my vegetarian friends, just kidding, I love cooking for you :)

1 cup green olives, pitted

1 clove garlic, chopped fine

1 tblsp sundried tomatoes

2 tblsp Olive Oil

1 tsp cracked black pepper

1 tsp fresh basil, chopped

1 tsp fresh thyme, chopped

2 fillets of anchovies (use white anchovies if you can find them)

1 tsp red chili flake

1 pckg puff pastry - unless you have a dough sheeter, if you do, feel free to make your own

1/8 lb good quality parmesan, shaved with a peeler

1)Heat oven to 400 degrees

2)Place pastry on baking sheet lined with parchment/wax paper

3)Using a fork, prick the dough all over. This prevents it from puffing too much

4)Bake 12-14 minutes until light, golden brown all over, remove and set aside

5)Puree all of the top group of ingredients in a food processer till mostly smooth, but with just a little chunk to it

6)Spread a thin layer of tapenade all over pastry. Cut into 1/2 inch squares and top each with a curl of shaved parmesan.

Marinated Crab Salad on Cucumber Rounds with Citrus and Mint

Doesn't get much easier than this, but it's crab so everyone will fawn over it

1 lb lump or jumbo lump crab meat

2 tblsp fresh mint, chopped

2 scallions, chopped thin

1 clove garlic, minced

juice and zest of 1 lemon, 1 lime, 1 orange

1 small thai chile, deseeded and chopped fine

1 tblsp italian parsley, chopped fine

2 tblsp mayonaisse

1 tblsp Dijon mustard

1 tsp clover honey

1 tblsp toasted white sesame seeds

Salt and Pepper to taste

1 large european (seedless) cucumber, cut into 1/4 inch rounds

1)GENTLY fold together all of the ingredients in top list, other than sesame seeds.

2)Let marinate at least one hour in the fridge

3)Scoop a nice quenelle of the crab onto each cucumber round and sprinkle the top with the sesame seeds

Herb Crusted Tenderloin on Crostini with Horseradish-Basil Aioli

Very easy once again, and it will satisfy the carnivores in your crowd

Crostini - Thinly slice baguettes, toss with olive oil, salt & pepper and bake at 400 till golden brown

Aioli

1/2 c mayonaisse

2 tblsp basil chiffonade

1 tblsp fresh grated horseradish

1 tsp cracked black pepper

1)Mix all together and chill in fridge at least one hour

Beef - I like mine pretty red, so that is how I'll lay out the recipe. If you like yours a little more done, just leave it in the oven longer

2 lb beef tenderloin

1 tblsp fresh rosemary

1 tblsp fresh thyme

1 tblsp mustard powder

1 tblsp cracked black pepper

1 tblsp kosher salt

2 tblsp olive oil

1)Mix together all the spices, herbs, and oil, and rub all over the beef. Refrigerate at least two hours, then pull from fridge at least 30 minutes before cooking. Preheat oven to 500 degrees

2)Pour excess oil from marinating pan into large skillet and set on high heat. Sear beef on all sides for 1-2 minutes, or until nicely browned. Place in oven for 5-10 minutes, until internal temperature is 135.

3)Let rest at least 15 minutes before slicing.

4)To plate, top each crostini with a nice heavy smear of the aioli, then place a very thin slice (BTW, always cut the meat against the grain, it is more tender this way) on top folded once.

5)Garnish with a sprinkle of sea salt and some rough chopped parsley.


Just put platters of these three things out, accompanied by many, many drinks, and everyone, hosts included, will have a relaxing, easier to clean up, "dinner" party.


"The best number for a dinner party is two -- myself and a damned good head waiter"
--Nubar Gulbenkian

It's November, I guess we should start the Thanksgiving recipes now

Well, it's that time of year again. Here in Georgia, it doesn't exactly feel like fall, let alone winter yet....we are still enjoying 60-70 degree weather (sorry to all those out there in the NE or say...Ireland), but that doesn't mean we can't get into the spirit of things.


I don't know about you, but Thanksgiving is one of my favorite meals of the entire year. Really it's just an excuse to cook to much and overeat, followed by football watching, and some friendly family vs. family gambling. However, I will admit to a small degree of snobbery when it comes to Thanksgiving food. All of this should be taken with a grain of salt since I have been known to create such Thanksgiving classics as whole roasted lobe of foie gras with cranberry chutney, or replace the gravy with a foie gras infused bordelaise sauce, but my idea of good eats is not sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows or green beans mixed with cream of mushroom soup and topped with onion straws. Far be it from me to judge however, so if those are your or your family favorites, there is much to be said for tradition. This post is just meant to offer up some different, not necessarily better (although I think they are.....see what I mean about my snobbery, I just can't help it), ways of cooking these Thanksgiving staples.


First up, the sweet potato.................



Recipe 1 - Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Cayenne Pepper and Smoked Paprika - The potatoes in this recipe get a very nice sweet/spicy/savory balance from the different ingredients coming together....simple but tasty


3 lbs Sweet Potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch x 1/2 inch cubes
1/4 stick butter
2 tblsp oil, not olive
1 tsp Cayenne Pepper
1 tsp Smoked Paprika, you can sub in regular Paprika if smoked is unavailable, but smoked is better
1 tsp dark brown sugar
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh thyme, chopped fine


1)Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2)melt butter in a pan over low heat and add cayenne, paprika, sugar, garlic powder and salt
3)Turn pan off, and mix in the olive oil. Let sit ten minutes
4)Toss sweet potatoes in oil/butter mixture and spread out on a roasting sheet, make sure that your sheet is big enough to put potatoes in a single layer, or they will roast unevenly and not caramelize
5)Bake for 25-30 minutes until potatoes are tender and lightly caramelized
6)Put potatoes in a serving dish and toss with thyme and any excess butter from the roasting dish and enjoy.


Recipe #2 Mashed Sweet Potatoes with Roasted Garlic and Bananas...yes bananas

2 lbs Sweet Potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 large slightly underripe banana
10 cloves roasted garlic (to make roasted garlic, simply cover garlic in a vegetable oil in an oven proof dish, cover and roast at 250 degrees for about an hour. They are done when they are deep golden and very soft. It softens and sweetens the garlic flavor and is a great ingredient to keep around for every day use)
4 oz milk
1/4 stick of butter
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp nutmeg
Salt and Pepper to taste


1)Slice banana in half lengthwise and place under broiler until well caramelized. Remove fruit from skin and set aside
2)Boil sweet potatoes until fork tender in salted water
3)Place potatoes, banana, & garlic cloves in large mixing bowl and mash until smooth
4)Melt butter and milk together...this is probably one of the few times when I will suggest a microwave, just don't tell anyone I told you to do it that way
5)Mix milk/butter into potato mixture and add cayenne & nutmeg. Season to taste with salt and pepper
6)OPTIONAL - You can then take this and serve as is, or mix 1/2 cup pankot breadcrumbs with 1/4 stick of melted butter and 1/8 cup finely chopped walnuts or pecans together, top the potatoes with this mixture and bake until topping is golden brown...approximately 20 minutes


Both of these are interesting, balanced (flavor-wise), and fairly easy substitutes for the overly sweet, goopy concoctions that grace many a Thanksgiving table. Give them a shot.


And now, on to les haricots verts......I mean green beans, I'd probably get some dirty looks from the southern Thanksgiving cook calling them by that fancy french name.


Recipe 1 - Marinated Green Bean Salad with Warm Bacon Vinaigrette and Candied Pecans - we are going to break this recipe down into a few different parts since it can be made a little in advance and then put together at the last minute. This is useful if, like me, your Thanksgiving menu gets a little ambitious, and your list of side dishes is longer than your actual guest list.


CANDIED PECANS
1 lb pecan halves
1 egg white
1 tblsp H2O
1 c sugar
3/4 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cayenne
1/2 tsp Herbes de Provence, this is a common spice mix and is easily found, if unable to locate, go with rosemary, but this only shows that you are lazy and unwilling to source good ingredients...just kidding, sort of


1)Heat oven to 250 and grease one baking sheet lightly
2)Whip egg white and water together until THICK and frothy...soft peaks
3)In a seperate bowl, mix sugar, salt, and spices
4)Toss pecans into egg mixture and stir gently to coat
5)Take pecans out of egg mixture and mix into sugar. Toss to coat
6)Bake 1 hour, mix them around every 15 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool.

These are great just to snack on or to put out when folks come over for drinks. I do feel a little bit like Martha Stewart with that last sentence, but it's true

Marinated Green Beans
2 lbs green beans, topped, not tailed
1 tblsp olive oil
zest and juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp FRESH ground black pepper

1)Blanch green beans in salted water until just slightly tender. I like my beans with a bit of crunch and you need it to stand up to the bacon vinaigrette later.
2)Shock beans in ice water once you remove them from the boiling water, transfer to a dish, and toss with remaining ingredients.

These are also a nice addition to a salad, or as a cold side for a grilled steak in summer, but those days are behind us. Just remember to refer back to this post come May.


BACON Vinaigrette
1/4 lb, bacon, diced
1 tsp fresh ginger, grated fine
1 clove fresh garlic, diced
2 tblsp olive oil
1 tblsp fresh thyme
1 red onion, diced small
2 tblsp dijon mustard
1/4 c cider vinegar
2 oz apple juice
1 tblsp sugar
1 small chile (thai chile would be a good option), diced very small, OPTIONAL
Salt and Pepper to taste

1)Put bacon in a cold pan and place over medium heat. Cook until fat is thoroughly rendered and bacon is crispy. Remove 90% of the rendered fat and set aside. Remove crispy bacon to a paper towel and save for garnish
2)Add oil to pan, then add onion, garlic, & chiles. Cook 3 minutes until onions have some color to them. Add fresh ginger and thyme and cook 1 more minute.
3)Add remaining ingredients, except mustard and reduce the volume of the liquid by 1/4.
4)Remove from heat and whisk mustard in until smooth. Whisk in reserved bacon fat, and season to taste with salt and pepper.
5)Get chilled green beans out, and toss with warm bacon vinaigrette....mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Sorry, got distracted for a second there.
6)Place in serving dish, and top with reserved crispy bacon and candied pecans. Save some to share with your dinner guests if possible.

This vinaigrette is great on a lot of things....avocados, sliced tomatoes, arugula....ice cream? I mean bacon + apple juice + sugar, what isn't this going to taste good on?

So, there you have it. The first post taking a few traditional Thanksgiving ingredients and making them a little more interesting, (less cloyingly sweet or covered in canned mush would be how my inner snob that I'm trying really hard to suppress would phrase it), and maybe a bit lighter along the way too. That way we'll all be a little more healthy this Thanksgiving, or at least have room for yet another slice of pecan pie or Candied Apple Flan (you might get lucky and see this one in the near future).


Happy Early Turkey Day Everyone


"It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status." - Russel Baker


"You can tell you ate too much at Thanksgiving when you have to loosen the belt.....on your bathrobe" - Jay Leno

"Vegetables are a must when on a diet. I suggest zuccini bread, carrot cake, and pumpkin pie"
- Jim Davis

Hated Foods.....but should they be?

So there are a ton of foods out there that people just have an ingrained, adverse, and repellent opinion of. I think a lot of it is born in childhood, and then either through close-mindedness, or inadventurousness (pretty sure that's a word, if not, you get the gist), stick around into adulthood. Well, we here at SMSCC (first time I've gone anacronym on you, let's see if it sticks) are going to blow the lid off of these narrow-minded preconceptions that are preventing you from enjoying some of the best foods out there. Specifically this time we are going to be tackling brussels sprouts and fennel. I think brussel sprouts are probably the best example of what I am talking about, but fennel, while it avoids some of the absolute hatred that brussels have attained, suffers from a lack of use. It is a great, versatile veggie, and should be in everyones repertoire. We'll hit some basics on each, and then give you a couple starter recipes for both. Think of these as the training wheels of culinary open-mindedness.

Brussels Sprouts - First off, they are a member of the cabbage family, and are very high in Vitamin A, Vitamin C, and folic acid. They are also thought to prevent colon cancer and thyroid disease (you could say this about pretty much every cabbage, but few are as tasty as the brussels sprout). I think that where they get their bad rap is basically from bad cooks. If you overcook them, it releases some sort of compound/element/something (I am not a scientist, so I have probably not named the correct THING that is released, try to stay big picture and not nitpick me) that smells and tastes of SULFUR. Not appetizing. However, just don't overcook them and all is avoided. To get them ready to cook, a few simple steps must be taken

• If they are on the stem, remove them from it. If they have already been removed, then cut away the small stump that remains. It will be the hard, whitish thingy at the bottom of your sprout.
• Peel away the tougher, darker leaves around the bottom. These are technically fine, but don't get as tender as the rest of the sprout, and we don't want that.

RECIPE 1 - Blanched Brussels with Walnut Oil and Shaved Parmesan

It really isn't going to get much easier than this one, so if this stumps you.......

1 lb Brussel Sprouts, prepped as above and then cut into quarters (lengthwise)

2 tblsp salt

1 tblsp walnut oil

1 tsp FRESH cracked black pepper, i like it pretty coarse, but whatever you prefer

1 tblsp butter, unsalted

2 tblsp chives, finely chopped

1 tblsp italian parsley, finely chopped

Salt to taste - I know salt is in here twice, it's not a mistake

1/4 c Parmesan, shaved into long strands, use a veggie peeler

1)Place oil, butter, chives, parsley, and pepper in a serving bowl and set aside

2)Bring a pot of water to a rolling boil, then add 2 tblsp salt and brussel sprouts. Boil 7-8 minutes till tender. It depends on the size of your sprout, but fork tender is a good judge

3)Drain sprouts, put in serving, toss to melt butter and evenly coat all sprouts, season to taste with salt, and top with shaved parmesan. Serve and enjoy....pretty simple no?

RECIPE 2 - Sauteed Brussels with bacon and shallots

This is the Thanksgiving favorite around chez Leahy...anything is easier to get someone to try with bacon right? Also, as a side note, ask my sister about properly cooking bacon lardons such as these, she knows the secret :)

1 lb Brussels Sprouts, prepped as above and cut into quarters (lengthwise)

2 tblsp bacon, diced small

1 lg shallot diced small

1 clove garlic, sliced thin

1/2 tblsp rosemary, chopped fine
1/2 tblsp thyme, chopped fine

2 tblsp dry white wine

1/8 cup stock, I'm sure you now have a stash since you have been making it since we talked about the importance of stock in August, but if not, low sodium veggie or chicken

Salt & Pepper to taste

1)Bring a pot of water with 2 tblsp salt to a rolling boil as in the first recipe, but this time only cook the sprouts 4-5 minutes until they START to become tender. Drain and reserve

2)Heat a 10-12 inch saute pan over medium heat, and place the bacon in even before it starts to get hot. This will render the fat better from the bacon, and give us all we need to saute in

3)Saute bacon 3 minutes until nicely rendered and getting crispy. Remove bacon from pan (not the fat, keep the fat in there) and place on paper towel to drip off. Add shallot and garlic to pan and saute 1 minute. Add sprouts and saute 2 more minutes

4)Increase heat to high, add wine and stock, and cook until it has reduced by 80% and is starting to get glazy. Add herbs, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Enjoy....

RECIPE 3 - Shaved Brussels with lemon, basil, and chili flake

A little fresher take on the SPROUT...quick note, chiffonade means very thinly sliced. To chiffonade basil, or really anything, take the basil leaves and stack them on top of eachother about 10-12 at a time, roll into a tight bundle, and thinly slice across.

1 lb Brussels Sprouts

1 tsp red chili flake

1 small red onion, sliced fine

zest and juice of 1 lg lemon

1/4 cup basil, chiffonade

1/8 c stock, see above recipe for my rant about stock yet again

Salt and Pepper to taste

2 tblps butter

1)Shave Brussels very thinly into rounds. I use a mandolin, and if you have one, you should too. If you don't, cut the brussel in half so you have a flat surface, then thinly slice across into half circles

2)Melt butter over medium high heat, add onion, and cook for 2-3 minutes until starting to color.

3)Add brussels, and toss to coat with butter. Saute for 2-3 minutes until starting to become translucent. Add lemon, stock and chili flake, and cook until liquid has reduced at least 80%

4)Toss basil through, and season with salt and pepper.

These brussels will be a little more "toothsome" than the first two recipes...that's ok.

And now, on to.....

FENNEL - This plant/herb...whatever, I think suffers less from a hatred, but more from a "what the f*c! do I do with that" sort of situtation, and therefore is sadly left off of the menus of many the home cook, sadly. It is a delicious plant, quite versatile, and it fronds are a great addition to salads, salad dressings, potato salads, and on and on and on. You could also make your own absinthe from it, if you can locate any wormwood anyway, but that's another blog for another time......chasing the green fairy mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Prepwise, there is one really KEY step. Cut off the fronds, and reserve for later use as we talked about above. Then, cut the fennel bulb in half from top to bottom. If you look at the cross section of what you have just cut, there will be a very distinctive, slightly differently colored triangle on each side. You must cut this out....it tastes extremely bitter, and no amount of anything you do will change that. Now on to cooking.

RECIPE 1 - Shaved fennel salad, with citrus, mint, & chiles (drop the chile if your not a spice fan, this is still a delicious salad)

1 head fennel, prepped as above, then sliced very thin

1 small red onion, sliced thin

2 small serrano, or thai chiles, sliced thin

1 tblsp fresh mint, chopped rough

1 tblsp italian parlsey, chopped rough

1 tsp clover honey

Juice and zest from 2 oranges, 1 lemon

Salt & Pepper to taste

1)Combine all ingredients and toss to completely mix. Refrigerate at least 1 and preferably 3-4 hours to marinate. Serve and enjoy. This is a great salad for a piece of grilled swordfish, or a roasted chicken or rack of pork. A little fresh, acidic crunch really adds a lot to the meal, and the delicious flavor of anise really complements the delicate taste of the fish or white meat. You can even use some of the juice from the bottom of this salad to make a marinade or glaze for the proteins.

RECIPE 2 - Sweet Caramelized Fennel

This is a really easy side dish, with just four ingredients, that goes perfect with a roasted chicken, prime rib, veal chop, really just about any meat or game, or sturdier fish....Easy and delicious.

1 lg fennel bulb

Salt and Pepper to taste

2 1/2 tblsp olive oil

1)Prepare the fenneal as above, and then cut in each half in half lengthwise two times. Sorry if that's confusing wording...you are looking for 8 total, not too thick wedges. about a 1/2 inch in width on the outside is perfect

2)Heat the oil over low-medium heat. It is important to not get the oil or pan too hot. If you do, the oil may scorch, and you wont cook the fennel slowly enough to tenderize it and bring out its' sweetness.

3)Season fennel with the salt and pepper, and place in pan. Cook 25-30 minutes turning occasionally, until the fennel is a deep golden brown in color, and very tender.

Serve and enjoy. If you like, a nice squeeze of lemon can be added to the fennel just as you pull it from the pan. I wouldn't do this if serving it with beef, but for the other options above, it's a nice touch.

"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do." P. J. O'Rourke

"We kids feared many things in those days - werewolves, dentists, North Koreans, Sunday School - but they all paled in comparison with Brussels sprouts." Dave Barry

Sisterspeak: How 'Bout that Housewarming Dinner-for-Two?

So, I'm sitting in bed on a Saturday morning, laptop on...lap, soaking in the wonder that is our new (functioning) wireless Internet connection -- and thought I'd finally update my experience cooking the housewarming dinner-for-two.

Let's begin with my shopping trip for the ingredients. Things that are apparently impossible to find in an Irish supermarket on a Sunday afternoon: shallots, hot sauce and avocados. Yes, shallots. The other two, I can sort of understand -- maybe there was a run on the raw ingredients for guacamole earlier in the day...but I expect to be able to buy a shallot when I want it. Deep breaths.

Thankfully, I returned home (with a few onions, just in case) and found a shallot in the deep recesses of my veg bowl. So, All Was Not Lost. In lieu of the hot sauce, I purchased a sort of chili paste. And well, there's really no substitute for avocado. I did consider buying ready-made guacamole. but had only to think of Nick's face...

In the end, I decided to make only the main meal and leave dessert and appetizers for another day, when I and my beloved, for whom I was preparing the apology, were less hungry. Miguel, in fact, was so hungry -- and so excited by the recipe -- he insisted on making the twice-baked potatoes himself. (If you want to get an Irishman excited in the kitchen, show him a new way to prepare the humble spud...works a treat. Just don't give advice, ever, about anything related to the recipe -- chopping, dicing, grating. It goes over about as well as trying to show a two-year-old how to color inside the lines, ie: "let ME do it...!" [Stamp foot] "I can do it mySELF!")

I cooled the chicken in the fridge with the buttermilk and chili paste for about three hours and watched the chicken breasts swell to about twice the original size. Mmmmm. Not having read through the recipe, I didn't realize the chicken, once-breaded, needed to sit back in the fridge for half an hour before it went in the pan. I did consider skipping this point, but pushed aside my hunger -- in the end, I'm glad I did, as the breadcrumbs would have fallen entirely apart otherwise.

Once the chicken was in the oven (with Miguel's twice-baked potatoes), I turned my attention to the spinach. I'd diced the shallots etc beforehand, so adding the remaining ingredients and wilting the spinach only took about 2 minutes to cook all together. So easy and SO delicious.

With everything ready, I plated it and served Miguel, put on my Serious Face and started in on my speech: "look, I'm really sorry if I've been difficult to the past few weeks. [Heavy sigh.] It's just been stressful with the move, all the IKEA furniture, work..." But I might as well have been saying sorry to the wall, so focused was his attention on how to get as much chicken and potato on his fork, dipped in the spinach cream sauce, at one time.

I'm choosing to interpret his squeaky clean plate as "apology accepted."

A romantic (hopefully) housewarming dinner for two

What pressure!!!!! I have been tasked by my sister to craft a menu that will repair a week of petty arguments and sniping that inevitably occurs whenever couples, no matter how blissfully in love they are, attempt things like moving. Other activities that also fall into this category include: putting together furniture (unfortunately, this one often occurs with, and thus exacerbates, the moving situ), driving through unfamiliar territory on vacation, having mixed family get togethers, and clothes shopping (really shoe shopping is the ultimate test, but it's all strenuous). All kidding aside, we all know how stressful and PIMA-like moving can be, so I have decided to go with a nice comforting meal so that everyone can relax and finally be able to enjoy each others' company again.

The menu will play out as such:

Hors D'Oeuvres
Smoked Salmon and Avocado "mousse" on cucumber rounds with chilies and mint, paired with a nice, crisp sauvignon blanc

Entree
Buttermilk Soaked Pan Fried Chicken, with Twice Baked Gruyere Potatoes, and Spicy Creamed Spinach

Dessert
Drunken Fruit Salad with Vanilla Whipped Cream


Without further ado, the recipes:

Smoked Salmon mouse:
2 oz smoked salmon
1 avocado, pitted and mashed
1/2 lb cream cheese, softened to room temp
1 tblsp mint, chopped
1 thai chile, diced fine (optional, I know Migs doesn't love the HEAT)
1 lemon, zest and juice
1 seedless cucumber, cut into 1/4 inch rounds
S+P to taste

1)Dice salmon into small even pieces, set aside
2)Fold together all the other ingredients, and season to taste, and return to fridge, covered to chill for 20 minutes
3)Place one quennelle (this is a fancy french word for pretty looking dollop) of avocado "mousse" on top of each cucumber round, and sprinkle top with smoked salmon. I like to garnish with a little extra black pepper.


Pan Fried Chicken
2 lg Chicken breasts
1 cup buttermilk
1 tblsp hot sauce
2 eggs
1 tblsp black pepper
1 tblsp cayenne pepper
1 tblsp salt (kosher or sea only, iodized salt is the devil)
1 tblsp Herbes De Provence
1 cup plain breadcrumbs (Snobbily, I would suggest making your own...cheaper and better)
1 cup plus 1 tblsp flour
Oil of your choosing, just not olive, it's smoke point is too low, i like peanut

1)Marinate chicken in milk and hot sauce for at least one hour.
2)Combine all dry ingredients together in wide bowl, except the extra tblsp flour
3)Remove chicken from buttermilk, and whisk in two eggs
4)Return chicken to milk mixture, and wet thoroughly
5)Dip chicken into breadcrumb mixture, and coat thoroughly
6)Return chicken to milk mixture
7)Return chicken to breadcrumb mixture and again coat thoroughly
8)Sprinkle extra flour on plate and put your breaded chicken on it and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
9)Heat oven to 450
10)Heat pan with oil about 1/4 inch deep over medium-high heat (on a 1 to 10 burner, we're talking about a 6.5)
11)Saute Chicken on both sides about 2 minutes or until golden brown
12)Place saute pan in oven and cook 6-8 minutes more depending on thickness of breast.

****A breading tip : have a "dry hand" and a "wet hand". In other words, handle the chicken in the liquid with your left hand and in the breadcrumbs with your right hand, otherwise you will very effectively bread both of your hands and make a huge mess.

Twice Baked Potatoes
2 large potatoes
1 lg egg, beaten
1/2 cup Gruyere, grated
1 tblsp Parmesan, grated
1 tblsp chive, or scallion, chopped fine
2 tblsp heavy cream
1 tsp red chili flake
1 tblsp butter, melted
3 cloves roasted garlic, if you don't have any roasted garlic, 1 clove fresh, diced fine will do
S+P to taste

1)Heat oven to 400 degrees.
2)Bake potatoes in oven, plain, for 30 minutes or until cooked through. Don't pierce the potatoes beforehand
3)While still piping hot (I wear glove at this point, it makes things easier), slice potatoes in half lengthwise, and scoop out as much of the insides as you can without tearing the skin. It's okay to have a little interior left, it gives it a little structure.
4)Mash potatoes thoroughly, NO LUMPS, and mix in all ingredients except Parmesan, you are looking for basically a nice smooth mashed potato texture, not too runny, not too stiff
5)Refill the potato skins with your potato mixture, top with Parmesan, and return to oven for 25-30 minutes

Spicy Sauteed Spinach
1 lb spinach
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 tblsp Thai chili paste (srirachi is the best)
1 shallot, diced fine
1 clove garlic, diced fine
1 tsp white balsamic vinegar
1 tblsp butter
S+P to taste

1)Melt butter over high heat, add onions and garlic before butter browns
2)Saute one minute, the add spinach, vinegar, heavy cream and seasoning
3)Let cream reduce, while stirring constantly, to be thick enough to coat the back of a spoon (this is called nappe in cooking terminology just in case you read it in a cookbook anywhere)
4)Stir in your chili paste and enjoy

There really isn't a need for a sauce for this meal, as the cream from your spinach should serve as one, and go really well with everything else on the plate

Drunken Fruit Salad
4 oz Strawberries, halved
4 oz blueberries
4 oz raspberries
4 oz blackberries
1 vanilla bean
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 tblsp plus 3/4 tblsp sugar
1/8 cup brandy, or rum
1 tblsp honey

1)Chill a metal bowl in the fridge.
2)Split vanilla bean down the middle, and scrape with a pairing knife to get all o the goodness out of there.
3)Mix vanilla, COLD heavy cream, and 3/4 tblsp of sugar in the cold bowl, and whisk using the biggest whisk you have until firm peaks form. Refrigerate until ready to use. **the bigger the whisk, and the bigger/colder the bowl is will make this easier
4)Mix all of the fruit with the remaining sugar, and the booze. Use a plastic spatula to gently toss the fruit without damaging it. Refrigerate for one hour at least

To serve:Spoon a generous portion of berries with just a little of the "juice" into a bowl and top with a generous portion of the whipped cream, ideally served with some champers, or a kir if you are so inclined as a nice end to a nice, if filling night.


Hope this helps create a blissful, romantic night at the new house Noush and Migs. Let me know how it goes (the food that is).

And Miguel, don't forget the old but true saying:

"The four most important words in any marriage....I'll do the dishes"
ANON